If Emily in Paris Was Cheese | The Cheese Professor

Subconsciously taking a cue from marketing and social media expert Emily Cooper herself, the titular character of Netflix’s ‘Emily in Paris,’ I recently posted a poll on Instagram about what cultural phenomenon should receive the Popular Cultures cheese treatment next. Subconsciously, I say, since ‘Emily in Paris’ hadn’t crossed my mind as an option to include in the said poll, as it had been nearly two years since its most recent season. While ‘Sex and the City’ was the winner, here we are instead with a different Darren Star production, (democracy be damned) as the recent Season 4 release of Emily in Paris catapulted the American-in-Paris frolic back into my super consciousness.

Despite romping around Paris for three and a half seasons, there’s actually been precious little mention of cheese in the popular Netflix’s comedy. (And one of the main characters is a chef with Michelin ambition — zut alors!) Many other bastions of French culture have been given the Emily marketing spin: Champagne, fragrance, skincare, etc., so cheese is positively ripe for some attention in the franchise. While the show serves up plenty of “cheese” in the form of easily recognized tropes of French and American culture, we’re anxiously awaiting some actual dairy airtime. Meanwhile, in this installment of Popular Cultures, we name a spirit cheese in honor of each of ‘Emily in Paris’s’ main characters.

Emily Cooper is Prairie Breeze

There’s actually an American cheese, (like, that kind of American cheese) called Cooper Sharp, which is surely a fitting metaphor for heroine Emily Cooper. While quintessentially American in her optimism and naivety, (at least compared to the French) and despite making a number of questionable relationship decisions, as a marketing professional Emily is undeniably sharp, and actively responsible for several clever campaigns. Cooper Sharp is an East Coast cheese, however, with pedigree in New York and Philadelphia, and the powers that be decidedly made Emily a Midwesterner: almost annoyingly friendly and without a hint of edge, not to mention an extremely colorful wardrobe. (All in stark contrast to her French boss, Sylvie.)

A Midwestern hero cheese for a Midwestern heroine then: Iowa-based Milton Creamery’s Prairie Breeze has distinctly Emily vibes: sweet, savory, and nutty, the cheddar hybrid can appeal to those who typically seek American singles and those with a more artisanal palate. And while her French colleagues may be initially opposed to it, Emily’s American earnestness proves to be a useful breath of fresh air — a prairie breeze indeed. Read more about Prairie Breeze.

Sylvie Grateau is Époisses

Époisses is a classic French washed-rind cheese, so pungent in its aroma as to have been rumored to be forbidden on the Paris Metro. While we doubt stylish Sylvie Grateau has ever been banned from public transport, we also kind of suspect she’s never actually taken it. Classically French, timeless, and with an initially off-putting air, Sylvie embodies the quintessential French whiffer. (While we also doubt Sylvie’s perfume is offensive to the nose, as the paradigm for French women of a certain age, you know she definitely has a signature fragrance that you are meant to notice.) Just like Époisses, though, whose scent may want to make you keep a distance, its flavor will keep you coming back for more. Its strong personality may be an acquired taste, but one that’s nonetheless worth acquiring: meaty, complex, savory, Sylvie.

(While he’s not main character energy enough to warrant a full cheese treatment, so long as we’re talking about Emily’s colleagues, it must be said that Luc’s hair resembles nothing so much as tufts of bloomy rind.)

Mindy Chen is Mimolette

Mindy Chen, one of the most colorful characters in what is already a tremendously colorful universe, almost defies categorization. Is she even a cheese? (She’s a karaoke singer in a drag club, and allegedly off to perform in the Eurovision song contest, so yes, there’s got to be some cheese to work with.) Like Emily, Mindy is also a transplant in Paris, hailing from China originally, specifically Shanghai, so there’s definitely an opening for a sichuan-peppercorn studded cheese here, as none such appears to already exist. As a non-native in Paris, what Mindy does better than Emily, though, is adapt to French culture, in both language skills and attitude, so it follows that she can effectively chameleon herself into a French cheese that Emily never can. Not just any French cheese can do Mindy justice, but perhaps Mimolette can: beyond the favorable alliteration, the cheese is an attention-grabber: a brightly colored number with a hint of scandal, owing its airy texture to the presence of cheese mites. Honestly? It’s also a really good band name, in my opinion.

Gabriel is Comté

There’s something about a strong, reliable French man that just oozes meltability. Gabriel (the only main character to not have a last name, apparently) is the centerpiece of romantic tension in ‘Emily in Paris’ — beginning as Emily’s neighbor and Camille’s boyfriend, after a number of turnabouts he ends up Emily’s boyfriend and Camille’s baby daddy — at least for now. Tension is what creates meltability of cheese, one could argue: those cooked curds knit themselves together in such a way as they hang on rather than becoming crumbled when pulled apart, and therein lies a metaphor for the entire series.

Gabriel is also a chef, and apparently a talented one, so like savory and craveable Comté, you want him around when meals are present: croque monsieur, soupe a l’oignon, gratin dauphinoise…all those inevitable cheese pulls just add to the tension. Read more about Comté and why cheesemongers love it.

Alfie Peterson is Sussex Charmer

A London native, Alfie finds himself in Paris for work, and has little interest in anything French. He prefers beer to wine and is merely taking French language classes for credit with his employer. Strong and unapologetically English, Alfie brings Cheddar sensibilities to the City of Lights. But not just any Cheddar — swoon-worthy Alfie is Sussex Charmer, a farmhouse Cheddar with a little extra texture and bite. (Ahem.)

Like annatto-stained Cheddars whose initial aim was to project an aura of richness beyond their milk fat content, Alfie is also a bit of a bait-and-switch in the Emily universe, albeit the reverse of Cheddar. Presenting himself as a low-commitment, good-time guy, he falls hard for Emily, and gets his heart broken, revealing himself to be someone of depth.

Camille deLalisse is Langres

Hailing from the region of Champagne, Camille is the sort of fabulous French woman who dashes out for morning pastries in impeccably styled couture. Camille isn’t just style, though, but substance, a gentle soul who was quick to observe that Emily needed a friend and followed through to become one. While most of the gastronomes’ attention for Champagne gets paid to its namesake beverage, the region also lays claim to a cheese or two. Like Camille, Langres is a stunner, with a delicate interior: a petite, dazzling little bloomy rind with a golden hue due to the washed rind treatment. Where Époisses is aggressive, though, Langres is welcoming: just gentle funk giving way to a delicate, milky character. With a bit of a domed top, Langres is meant to be filled with a splash of Champagne. If we’ve learned anything from the show, however, don’t use Champére for the occasion. Find a great sustainable Champagne.